All in a day for the Akatsuki
by JaymesEvenings
Summary: When Hidan decides to try a new approach for converting his fellow member's to Jashin everyone suffers; especially Peins sanity. M for language and for once its not just Hidan's fault. please read and review.


This is my first Akatsuki story so please tell me what you think, though if you have any problems

with this id prefer you gave constructive help and not plain flames . Hidan would you mind doing

the honors? Hidan: ugh fine windingwillow doesn't own us but you already knew that. Rated M for Hidan's mouth.

It was a normal and quiet day the sun was- "Zetsu what the hell?" well almost quiet. "What now Deidara?" asked an obviously irritated Pein, he had been on his way to get his morning coffee from the kitchen and reallywasn't ready to deal with his members yet. "Zetsu left two arms from his last meal in the fridge, un" the complaining and slightly disturbed blonde crossed his arms and glared at the closed fridge door. "In our defense" **"we didn't want to let them rot and listen to you bitch about the smell" **Zetsu explained appearing out of the floor to state his case. "So you left them in the fridge for one of us to find and have a heart attack, yeah?" the blonde bomber snapped, his palm mouths growling at Zetsu while he spoke. "I suppose it was uncalled for we do have our own freezer…" ** "Your face was priceless, it was worth it"**. Deidara turned to the orange haired man and whined "leader-sama, un" in response.

Pinching the bridge of his nose Pein turned to Zetsu "storing body parts in the fridge is a sanitation breach Zetsu and-"his scolding was interrupted by a certain Jashinist who chose that moment to run past the kitchen completely naked wearing only a small white sign over his package that read 'convert to Jashinism' painted in what looked suspiciously like blood.

"Was that what I think it was,un?" the answer to his question and the beginning of many more came striding into the kitchen with a cocky grin "what's up assholes, ready to fucking convert?" Poor Kisame, on his way to the kitchen to get dango for Itachi, had the misfortune of coming upon Hidan from behind where unfortunately the sign did not cover and so he was treated to a view of the Jashinist's ass. He quickly turned on his heel, deciding that whatever was happening in the kitchen he really didn't want to be a part of it.

Kakuzu walked past said blue shinobi in the hall he thought he thought he heard Kisame mumbling something along the lines of 'everyone's crazy if Itachi wants his dango he can get it himself ' and something about therapy. This was hardly surprising to Kakuzu; in fact after being with the Akatsuki for so long nothing really surprised him anymore. So when Kakuzu walked into the kitchen (being exposed to the same view as Kisame) his shock was miniscule though Hidan being stark naked was admittedly the weirdest thing he had seen that week at least. "Oh I got to hear this" the miser said. Everyone in the kitchen seemed to recover from their various states of shock or horror at the sound of Kakuzu's voice. Pulling himself together pein glared at Hidan "yes Hidan why don't you enlighten us as too your lack of... Clothes among other things" "among other things, the fuck is that supposed to mean?" then seeing Pein's expression he decided just to get to the point "I'm on a clothing strike until every last one of you asshole's has converted to Jashinism".

Pein could already feel the gray hairs setting in and his already questionable sanity slipping away, would enemy ninja still fear them if they saw just how idiotic the akatsuki's members could be? As he debated what to do with Hidan, Konan, noticing a crowd around the kitchen came over to see what new fiasco was taking place. She inwardly sighed it was going to be another long day. Hidan noticing Konan's appearance turned towards the unlucky kinoichi and said "see anything you like?" with a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows that made Pein grit his teeth. "To be honest…not really" Hidan frowned and seemed a little put off by konan's quick dismissal, and Deidara always the helpful man said "heh rejected, un". Hidan turned very slowly to face Deidara rage showing clearly on his face "what was that Blondie? I don't think I heard you right" Deidara merely smirked ignoring the threat in Hidan's voice "I said _rejected_, un".

Normally this would have resulted in a full out fight, destroying half the base and leaving a very angry Kakuzu in its wake muttering about the cost of fixing the damages for several weeks. Despite however, everyone's thoughts Hidan had at least some smarts (or at least feelings of self-preservation) and knew that it would be ludicrous to start a physical fight right in front of Pein no matter how much he wanted to sacrifice deidara's ass, and so he decided on a different approach; insult. "Yeah well at least I don't look like a fucking chick Deidara-_Chan_" "you bastard I'm not a chick, yeah!" Deidara protested crossing his arms and glaring at the Jashinist.

Konan leaned over and whispered in Pein's ear "how did we get from discussing Hidan's lack of clothing to this?" "To be truthful I have no idea. Before this Deidara was complaining about Zetsu leaving body parts in the fridge, I'm starting to really doubt the credibility of some of our member's status as S-rank shinobi" konan nodded in agreement and added "it's like living in a twisted soap opera". Meanwhile Kakuzu had pulled out a video camera and was filming the whole petty fight while Zetsu watched from his safe spot in the wall. "Man I'm surprised Kakuzu's let you live this fuckin long, what with having to buy stuff for your constant PMSing" Hidan was grinning wickedly while he spoke, he knew he had hit a nerve. Everyone in the Akatsuki had learned to stay away from the topic of deidara's more feminine appearance and that jokes about it were off-limits (at least to his face). Well everyone but the foul-mouthed Jashinist it seemed. "I don't PMS! And at least I'm not Kakuzu's bitch" the blonde shot back. "He's got you there Hidan" **"you really are his bitch"** Zetsu contributed while Kakuzu himself merely grumbled that if Hidan was his bitch he wasn't a very good one. "Because being Mr. 'I wanna be a real boy' Pinocchio's bitch is so much better?" Hidan spat.

At that moment Sasori walked over, he had been in the living room reading when he heard his name and sounds of his partner and Hidan fighting had reached him and he decided to check it out. "Who's my bitch?" the red head asked, face black of emotion. He seemed to understand when he saw his partner and quietly said "oh were talking about Deidara". He was ignored however as the two continued their bickering (though Deidara had a noticeable pink tinge to his cheeks). "So you're not denying that your Kakuzu's bitch?" the blonde asked his grin slowly returning "you didn't deny being Sasori's!" Kakuzu looked up from the camera screen at sasori who was standing at his side watching and said "want to bet on the outcome? 500 says Hidan loses control and tries to sacrifice Deidara to Jashin". Sasori was silent for a moment before responding "same amount says neither wins and the fight gets broken up". "What no confidence your partner might win?" Sasori looking at Kakuzu as if he were slow said "it's Deidara" as an explanation to his lack of faith in then asked "on a side note why is Hidan torturing us with his nudity?" "He's trying to convert all of us to Jashinism through protest".

This oddity being explained both went back to the fight, which was as before going nowhere and only getting more stupid. "-and if you're not a girl then how come I always catch you sneaking into the bathroom with konan's supply of hair products and rose scented body spray, not to mention your stash of cotton candy flavored lip gloss" upon hearing this konan was looking more than a little pissed off while sasori cracked a rare smile at the comment about cotton candy flavored lip gloss. "I-I…it um… you see itachi…well at least I'm not so perverted and desperate that I installed a hidden camera in konan's private bathroom so I could watch her while she showers, un!" Hidan blushed just a bit at that "you fucker that was supposed to be a secret!" By now both pein and konan were looking ready to commit homicide and so sasori stepped in and whispered in Pein's ear.

The orange haired man smirked a little and in turn whispered what sasori had said to Konan while Sasori told Kakuzu. All four sent chakra to their feet just as pein said "Shinra Tensei!" and used his gravitational jutsu to send Hidan and Deidara soaring into the living room wall, though only hard enough to knock them out for several hours. Turning off the camera Kakuzu said "well I guess that's the end of that" and began to leave but stopped when both sasori and Pein called him back at the same time. Pein turned to sasori and said you go first" nodding sasori looked at Kakuzu with a devilish grin "don't you owe me 500 dollars? Pay up miser" looking mightily upset and muttering under his breath he handed over the money and then turned to Pein waiting for him to speak.

Pein addressed both Akatsuki members "your partners are idiots, sasori as your partner merely irritated me you may take him back to your room but if something were to get mixed into his clay while he's passed out… well let's say I'm far from against the idea as long as it isn't fatal" he nodded at sasori dismissing him, the puppet master was looking dangerously thoughtful as he picked up his partners body and headed for their shared room. "As for you" pein continued turning his attention to Kakuzu again "your partner has more than irritated me and so I believe konan and I are going to have to come up with something to properly get back at him for his intrusion of her privacy. I realize none of this matters to you but it will explain the absence of your partner for the next while, but first I would like for you to sew Hidan's pants to him so that it will be most difficult for him to try this stunt again". Kakuzu was caught between amusement at his partner's position and annoyance that he was going to have to dress the idiot.

As Kakuzu went about fulfilling the orders he had given and Konan was off preparing Hidan's torture Pein finally enjoyed a moment of peace until the sharp pains of a headache interrupted it. _Damn it_ he thought_ I bet Orochimaru doesn't have to put up with this crap._

fin

thank you for reading please read and review 3 P.s if the text spacing in this was weird i apologize i cant seem to get my word to work properly and i had to use notepad which if you didnt know sucks lol if anyone has suggestions on new stories about naruto or knows how to help me with my text spacing problem please message me :)


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